Maneuvering Relationship Taboos
A Greater Path to Understanding
The social fabric of marriages and relationships is woven together by a complex set of rules, traditions, and expectations. Within this intricate web, there are certain “taboos”—subjects, behaviors, or desires that are considered off-limits, forbidden, or unspeakable. These taboos vary widely from culture to culture and may change over time as societal attitudes and values evolve.
As psychologists at Feeling To Healing Clinic, We believe it is essential to explore these taboos, understand their origins and impacts, and provide practical advice for couples navigating these sensitive subjects in their relationships. In this article, I will discuss the nuances of marital and relationship taboos, debunk myths surrounding them, examine their psychological effects, offer practical advice for breaking these taboos, and share examples of past cases that successfully addressed and overcame these taboos.
Understanding Relationship Taboos
Marital and relationship taboos are deeply ingrained in our society. Cultural, sociopolitical, and psychological factors collectively shape our understanding of what is considered appropriate and acceptable in intimate relationships.
Historically, religious, moral, or social codes of conduct have often created these taboos. For example, religious teachings emphasize the sanctity of marriage and prohibit behaviors deemed unchaste, immoral, or unfaithful. Societal norms and expectations also play a significant role in shaping taboos—certain practices or desires may be frowned upon, dismissed, or stigmatized due to their perceived deviation from the dominant cultural narrative.
Over time, these taboos evolve, adapt, or even dissipate as society’s values and beliefs change. For instance, the taboo surrounding premarital sex has significantly diminished over the past few decades, reflecting broader shifts in public opinion and attitudes towards sexuality.
Debunking Myths Surrounding Taboos
There are numerous misconceptions and myths surrounding marital and relationship taboos. One common belief is that addressing or breaking these taboos will inevitably lead to the destruction of a relationship. However, research has shown that openly discussing taboo subjects will actually strengthen the bond between couples and foster greater intimacy and understanding.
Another myth is that addressing taboos will inevitably lead to unhappiness or dissatisfaction in a relationship. In reality, the inability to discuss and explore taboos often create feelings of inadequacy, or frustration, which may ultimately lead to unhappiness.
The Psychological Impact of Breaking Taboos in Relationships
Breaking marital and relationship taboos will often have varying psychological effects on individuals and couples. On the one hand, addressing and exploring taboo subjects will lead to increased self-awareness, personal growth, and deeper emotional connections with one’s partner. When couples engage in open and honest communication, they may discover new aspects of their relationship or develop a greater appreciation for their partner’s unique experiences and desires.
On the other hand, breaking taboos may also lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety. It is essential for couples to proceed with care and respect for each other’s feelings, and to establish clear boundaries and expectations before embarking on this process.
Practical Advice for Discussing Taboos
To successfully navigate the challenging terrain of marital and relationship taboos, couples should focus on open communication, trust, and consent. Here are some practical tips for addressing and overcoming taboos in your relationship:
Set the Stage for Honest Conversation
Choose a time and place where you and your partner can engage in a relaxed and open dialogue. Make it clear that you are interested in exploring new aspects of your relationship and that you want to create a safe and supportive environment for both individuals to express their thoughts, feelings, and desires.
Use “I” Statements
Avoid using accusatory or judgmental language when discussing taboo subjects. Instead, use “I” statements to express your own feelings, desires, or concerns. This will help to create a non-threatening atmosphere and encourage your partner to do the same.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings by asking open-ended questions. This will help to facilitate a more in-depth and nuanced conversation about the taboo subject at hand.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Before you delve into any taboo subject matter, be sure to establish clear boundaries and expectations with your partner. This may include discussing potential triggers, deciding on appropriate language or communication styles, and establishing a mutual agreement about how to proceed if either individual becomes uncomfortable or feels unsafe.
Be Patient and Compassionate
Discussing taboos is a gradual and challenging process. It is essential to be patient and compassionate with your partner, understanding that it may take time for them to feel comfortable discussing or exploring taboo subjects.
Seek Professional Help if Necessary
If you and your partner are struggling to navigate taboo subjects in your relationship, you may want to consider seeking the assistance of a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can assist couples in working through any issues or challenges that may arise during the process. Check the clinic’s website for couple therapy and sex therapy programs.
Case Studies (names and minor details changed to maintain privacy)
To illustrate the various benefits of addressing and breaking marital and relationship taboos, let’s take a look at a couple of case studies of couples who have successfully navigated this challenging process.
Alex and Emily
Alex and Emily had been dating for two years when they decided to address the taboo around discussing their financial situations. Money had always been a source of tension and anxiety for both of them, and they had never felt entirely comfortable talking about their financial habits, goals, or concerns.
Despite their initial reservations and nervousness, Alex and Emily chose to tackle this taboo head-on. They sat down and discussed their individual financial situations and values. This process was often difficult and emotionally charged, but they developed a greater sense of empathy and understanding for each other’s unique experiences, histories, and perspectives.
By discussing their financial struggles and aspirations openly and honestly, Alex and Emily overcame this taboo. They developed a more transparent and collaborative approach to managing their finances as a couple.
Jennifer and Brian
Jennifer and Brian had been together for six years when they decided to break the taboo of discussing and expressing their individual sexual desires and fantasies. Both of them had always felt awkward or uncomfortable talking about nudity and sexual desires, attributing this to societal expectations, personal insecurities, and a lack of open dialogue about sexuality in their upbringing.
Determined to change this, Jennifer and Brian created a safe and supportive environment where they could openly discuss and explore their sexual desires, fantasies, and boundaries. This openness led to a greater sense of intimacy, trust, and understanding in their relationship, making their connection stronger than ever.
The Final Word About Relationship Taboos
Discussing marital and relationship taboos often lead to increased self-awareness, personal growth, and deeper emotional connections between couples. While this process may be challenging and fraught with emotional complexities, it is crucial for couples to proceed with care, honesty, and a deep respect for each other’s feelings, desires, and boundaries. By developing open and honest communication, couples will successfully navigate the complex terrain of marital and relationship taboos and reap the many benefits that come from breaking these taboos.
